A Story About Family

My cousin Destiny who I am not sure I ever met (we reconnected on FB) sent me the below article about her father, who died when she was young.



2/25/1986

Barely two hours after the start of a pre-trial hearing aimed at suppressing his confession to murder by arson, a Centereach man apparently changed his mind yesterday and pleaded guilty.

`I broke the window. I lit a book of matches and threw them in, on the bed,'' Juan Figueroa, 30, of 14 Magnolia St., said in response to questions by Suffolk County Court Judge John Vaughn, after he pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in the death of Arthur Kangas, 41, last Sept. 14.

Assistant District Attorney Steven Zimmer said that in return for the guilty plea, he would recommend a sentence of 15 years to life in prison - the statutory minimum for second-degree murder - and Vaughn said he would probably follow that recommendation.

Kangas died of suffocation in the fire, which destroyed the garage apartment that was his home at 30 Champlin St., Lake Ronkonkoma. The garage and adjoining house were owned by Theresa Miller, and Figueroa had been a tenant there until she evicted him in May for nonpayment of rent.

In court yesterday, Figueroa told Vaughn that he knew Kangas was a tenant in the garage apartment but did not know Kangas was home when he set the fire. At the time of the fire, he told police that he was passing by on his bicycle and had tried unsuccessfully to waken and rescue Kangas.

What was to be a hearing to set ground rules for Figueroa's trial began about 11 a.m. yesterday, with Suffolk Homicide Det. Daniel Quinn testifying that suspicion was directed at Figueroa after Miller, who had come home from work unexpectedly because of illness, saw him there and told police that he didn't belong there. Defense lawyer William Griffin told Vaughn that he would try to prove that the confession had been forced from his client and that he had been denied his right to a lawyer.

But after less than an hour of testimony by Quinn, and a lunch break, Figueroa pleaded guilty. Vaughn set April 7 for sentencing.



Arthur Kangas was my Dad’s oldest brother and he died in 1985. I knew bits and pieces of the story but because I was only 5 when it happened, I knew very little of what really happened. I remember going to King Kullen and Cheap John’s in Center Moriches with my Uncle and he’d hold my hand and as we’d skip across the parking lot we’d sing “Lou lou, skip to my lou, skip to my lou my darling.” I also remember an awesome Smurf doll he got me one Christmas. So the few memories I have of him were good ones.

My cousin Destiny didn’t really know her father and only knew that he died in an “accidental” fire. A Newsday (the Long Island newspaper) reporter recently contacted her for a statement as the man that caused his death was released from prison in May of this year. She also wanted to know if Destiny would be interested in meeting the man because there was talk of him apologizing to the family. Destiny was very weirded out by the whole situation so she contacted me to get in touch with the family (because she really doesn’t know any of us). Destiny did say she would be interested in meeting him if that was to be set up.

I talked to my Dad and he already knew about the situation, and had no interest in meeting the man (as did most of his brother’s – my dad is one of 9). He felt that the man had served his time and “that was that”. Most of my dad’s sister’s were interested in meeting the man.

Honestly, I don’t know why I’m blogging about this, I think I just needed to get it out (and isn’t that part of what blogs are for? :) When I read the article for the first time and learned what really happened, I was so sad for my Dad. My Uncle was so young when he died and my father has been without his brother for over 25 years. The man that killed him is only in his 50’s and will possibly go on to live a long, fulfilling life. It’s just sad and hurtful to me that this man is free. While I do agree that he served his time, it just seems so unfair.

Thanks for reading.

xoxo

So Big!

As a new mom, I look at Nicholas and can’t believe how fast he is growing. Well yesterday and early this morning he did two new “growing up” things that I wanted to share.


1. As I was getting him ready for his night time bath, I put him in his crib tummy side down so he could get in some good tummy time. When he was really little, we would put him tummy down and he would just scream with his face in the blanket/mattress until I would turn him over. Little by little, he would get better and even rolled over once or twice. He really hasn’t done it much since then though. He’ll hang out, look around, but then get tired and cry to be turned over. I know that he will do it when he’s ready. Well, before I could even turn my back yesterday he flipped RIGHT OVER, and looked super proud. I jumped up and down like a 16 year old cheerleader, clapping my hands and cheering. He had the BIGGEST smile on his face. When I turned him over again he instantly flipped onto his back – so of course I had to repeat the cheering. He was so proud of himself, but not nearly as proud as I was of him.

2. Nicholas has been waking up in his crib and just “hanging out” a bit. He’ll wake up sometimes at 4, “hang out” (ie, chew on his hands, the swaddle, roll around) and not cry for me until around 5. I do want to sleep train him but have decided to wait until he does not need to be swaddled anymore. That day is coming soon as he will typically break out of the swaddle and fall back asleep, at least for a little while – but then “startle” himself awake. Nick and I always put Nicholas to bed completely asleep – we love to hold and rock him to bed because we see so little of him during the week. The book I recently read recommends you put the baby down “slightly” awake so he learns to settle and self soothe himself back to sleep. I tried it a few times and it just ended up with Nicholas getting more and more upset and crying (and sweating because he worked himself up so much!) for me. Well last night at 3:45 he woke up for a bottle. It’s always hard when he wakes up at 3-4 because he typically wants to be “awake” for the day and that’s just not good! Anyway, I fed him and thankfully he seemed a bit drowsy so I brought him back upstairs and held him for a bit. When I put him in his crib, his eyes popped right open and he did his little “jig” and wanted to play. I patted and kissed his head and told him “time for some more sleep sweetie”. I used the bathroom and went in to bed. I gave him 5 minutes to see if he settled, and he cried a bit for me. I went to his bedroom, patted his head and offered a pacifier (which he sucks on a few seconds and spits out). Then I went back to bed and gave him 5 more minutes. I repeated the process twice more and then let him be…and he fell asleep ALL ON HIS OWN! I was so thrilled and happy. I know it has just happened once but I thought it was pretty great (and reassuring that he CAN do it). I laugh because leave it to me to decide to try and get him to bed on his own at 4 am! Also, I left him arms out in the swaddle and he seems to be getting more comfortable that way so I think that’s a great sign as well. Here’s a pic of him doing “the sprinkler” like his Mama:

Ahhh…they grow up so fast, don’t they?

Good Friends= Good Times

We had a small group of friends over yesterday and had a blast. It started early in the hopes that the party wouldn't run too late. Mama needs her sleep ;) We grilled and had some delicious food, and it was an overall great time. Nicholas was on his best behavior and had very few cranky episodes. He didn't sleep much through out the day, and only woke up once at night (he slept 7pm-1 am, then 2 am until about 5:30).

Here are some pics from the day:

Caroline and the babe

Caroline's fiance Jon

Danielle, Caroline, and I - along with the kid who falls asleep halfway through a bottle

Nick's friend Joe - it was great to see him as we haven't seen him in forever - he was traveling abroad a lot for work, and we're yet to meet his almost 1 year old daughter Keira - hopefully soon!

Auntie Lexi and the babe - she looks more fabulous every time I see her! (and more tan - heehee)

Me and the muffin man!

Chips Ahoy Ice Cream Cheesecake - Super easy and super delicious. Here's the recipe:
http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/chips-ahoy-ice-cream-116062.aspx

The only down side is that I'm sick now - I sound worse than I feel, but not feeling so great. I've been fighting a dry cough for a few weeks and it's now developed into laryngitis and a runny nose. Cough drops don't seem to help and my stomach is starting to hurt from the coughing. But I know it could be worse. It's so hard to not kiss and smush the babe, and I'm really hoping I don't get him sick!

xo

Nicholas is 4 Months Old!

First of all, I’m so proud of the little guy, he slept from 7pm to 6am last night! I’m not going to talk about it too much though, I don’t want to jinx it.

Doctor Stats:

Weight: 17lbs 3 oz
Height: 25 3/4 inches - that's 3 inches since month 2!

And I feel the need to point out that his head is in the 92 percentile...(I'm so not a percentile person but)-I guess everyone is correct when they say my baby has a huge head. I’m just glad it wasn’t like that at birth and that I didn’t have to push it out.

I originally had him in a different outfit to take the picture yesterday, but then this happened:

He was too adorable (and tired) to wake up!


I love his morning temperament. He is smiley and happy and giggly and ready to start the day. He “dances” on the changing table and it honestly just melts me. I love to mush and snuggle him- it’s really one of his happiest times throughout the day

Likes:

Still going strong with his activity mat. He’s now started to grab and “eat” the items that hang down. This morning he also “screamed” in sheer joy a few times – it was hilarious!

This week we put him in the Exersaucer my co-workers bought for me as part of a baby shower gift. He’s not quite sure what’s going on yet, and I think he’s weirded out that he’s standing up without us holding him, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to love it once he gets more comfortable with it.

Baths – he’s starting to like these more and more, he splashes around in the water a bit and in general is smiley and liking it. He’s also found “himself” and grabs it SOOO hard! I laugh but honestly dude, that has to hurt a little.

Being held and walked around and talked to. He looks all around and is very curious. He’s also realizing Dexter is always close to him and looks at him with curiosity – I can’t wait until he starts reaching for him – I’m not sure Dexter is going to like that though.

Holding keys, a blankie, etc. – he shakes the keys and I call it “making music”, and he’s started putting the blankie in his mouth a bit and chewing/sucking on it.

He’s getting good at tummy time and has rolled over a few times, but usually just hangs out for a bit and then I’ll turn him back over. I do it in his crib a lot so he can get used to moving around in there, because I’m sure that’ll start soon!

Being sung to – I really like to sing and can actually sing on key, but don’t bother to try, he just likes the different sounds and pitches that I make and will sometimes try to “babble” along with me.

Dislikes:

Being snapped into his car seat. This has kind of always been the case, but he’s usually a bit fussy and will sometimes cry. Once he gets in the car he pretty much instantly falls asleep and is fine.

Things have been rough for a little while with his sleep schedule. I started reading The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep by Harvey Karp. I read The Happiest Baby on the Block and it helped tremendously. I honestly think we are doing everything right as far as his sleeping goes, now Nicholas just needs to realize that and “get” it. I refuse to let him cry it out in his crib and if he ends up a little spoiled because of it, so be it. I really don’t think you can give your baby too much love. Nick and I were fighting a bit because of the lack of sleep – I got a bit sick – I honestly don’t get tired, but I was getting run down because I haven’t been able to really take care of myself. Nick and I agreed no more yelling at each other and that the baby will get it…eventually. The yelling certainly wasn’t helping!

Other than that things have been going pretty well. We’ve gotten into a good routine with day care, pick up, drop offs, etc. Day care absolutely loves him – one girl told me she practically cries every time he laughs because she loves it so much. They said he is definitely the happiest baby they have there. That’s really nice to hear and I always try to remember that when he’s being a bit of a terror.

My friend Brooke was feeding him a bottle and apparently is was too much work so he fell asleep.

Nice sweatpants buddy

Yes he's a Rock Star ;)

This one's for cousin Q - look at me holding my bottle (for 3 seconds!)

Hilarious onesie from our friend Monica.

We’re having a big group of friends over tomorrow and I cannot wait! Lots of pics to follow!

xoxo

Radiation Here We Go!

 
My dad had his first successful radiation treatment yesterday. The doctor is happy that everything is going exactly as planned and as far as he can tell my Dad will be just fine. He doesn’t feel any different and was told towards the end he might feel a bit nauseous, but so far, so good.

Thanks to all who have thought to ask about my Dad, it means a lot to me.
 
XO

NY Weekend

Nick and I were in New York visiting my family from Friday- Sunday. I was really looking forward to the trip, since I have so little vacation time this year. While it was great to see everyone, it was REALLY overwhelming with Nicholas. Because the weather was so hot, we kept him inside for the most part. I'm so lucky to have my family who were such a big help, but it really didn't feel like much of a vacation. Nicholas was on his best behavior, he was awake for most of the day Friday and Saturday, but still woke up 2-3 times during the night. We are pretty sure he is teething so we think that is messing up his schedule. He sees the doctor on Friday so we'll find out what exactly is going on.

My Aunt Sandy and Aunt Sharon (my dad's sisters) made the 9+ hour trip from Pennsylvania to meet the little one - it was so awesome to see them there! My grandmother was also there so it was great for her to meet Nicholas, along with a lot of close family and friends. Everyone thought he was adorable (but of course!) and everyone that hadn't met Dexter fell in love with him as well. :)

Here are a few pics from the weekend.

Part of why we think he is teething - hands and anything else are constantly in his mouth - plus he has small white spots on his gums and drools like crazy! He's also been irritable and crankier than usual.

Hands in the mouth!

Looks like the end of the swaddle is near! He still likes/needs to be swaddled, but has been slowly working himself out of it.

Looks like Mommy needs some hair color - I've gone almost a year without color!

Nicholas and his Great Grandmother. :)

Gift to Self

Be kind to yourself, and do something nice for yourself, like I did today. :)

To Crystal: Love, Yourself. :)